Today … Valentine’s Day! I know some of you would like to jump from February 13 right away to February 15,Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays, like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. But I know it’s a difficult time for many of you, because the person you wanted to bestow love on has already passed away. But really, Valentine’s Day can be celebrated in many ways, both big and small.
I won’t go into all the reasons why mourning and Valentine’s Day don’t go hand in hand; if this day is difficult for you, you know perfectly well why. That’s why I thought I’d share a few ways to get through this day.
Listen :
Allow yourself to be sad. It is REALLY OK to be unhappy on this day. You are not alone in this – many people are not fond of Valentine’s Day! And not only those who have lost a life partner.
Thought : Ignore this day. Avoid pushy ads for jewelry, cards, chocolates. If possible, stay at home and avoid the media.
Do you feel that my proposals are unrealistic? I understand. Pretending that this day doesn’t exist can be difficult, and spending it in sadness is not for everyone. That’s why I have another suggestion:
Change your perspective. Valentine’s Day is associated with romance, but it’s actually about love in any form. I repeat love in any form. You can celebrate this day by showing love to yourself, friends, family or even strangers.
WHAT do I do? Husband – of course , Mom, Brother and Nephew-niece, closest friends – they always get “something” from me every year ( a simple card, one rose, chocolates) with a GREAT inscription I LOVE YOU …… but that’s not all …. I love for….. And here I list
I know some of you may be rolling your eyes. I know that Valentine’s Day – a day that can be difficult for many of us, especially when we are experiencing bereavement. This holiday, which often highlights the absence of a loved one, can cause pain and sadness. But remember that love has many faces and we can celebrate it in different ways, even in the face of loss.
Love for friends and family:
We have Big Steps:
Invite loved ones over for a get-together or dinner. Surround yourself with people who understand your feelings and with whom you can share memories.
A good idea is to Have an evening with others who are experiencing a similar loss. Recognize that the day is difficult, but set a goal of having fun and laughing. You can go to the movies for a comedy, organize a game night, go bowling, go to a comedy club or sing karaoke. IT’S OK !!!!
Let your children choose the activity. Let them dream as much as your budget allows. Grieving children need an opportunity for good, healthy fun, and seeing them smile will warm your heart. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge that being together as a family highlights who you miss, and take every opportunity to reminisce and talk about your loved one, even if it’s just to say: “Dad would have loved that.”
Baby steps:
Share your feelings with a loved one. If you feel depressed and don’t want to be alone, invite someone over for a quiet evening.
Organize a movie night with your children. Choose light movies such as comedies, animations or old classics. Order pizza, put on pajamas and enjoy time together.
Send a card or flowers to a friend or family member who is also feeling down on Valentine’s Day. Perhaps they are mourning the same loss as you or have experienced other difficulties. Let them know that they are not alone.
And like a mantra repeat : Remember that there is no one right way to experience this day. The most important thing is that you listen to your heart and do what is best for you. The love you carry inside you is eternal and will always find a way to express itself.
And since Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, it’s worth considering how to survive this day, especially when your heart still hurts after the loss of a loved one. I know that for many of us this time can be extremely difficult. That’s why I’m sharing some ideas that may help:
Love to friends and family:
Larger steps:
Invite a group of loved ones to a casual gathering or dinner together.
Organize an evening with people who have experienced a similar loss. Recognize that the day is difficult, but put on a good time and laughter. You can go to the movies for a comedy, have a game night, go bowling, go to a comedy club or sing karaoke.
Let your children choose the activity. Let them dream within their budget. Grieving children need opportunities to rejoice, and their smiles will warm your heart. Don’t be afraid to admit that being together as a family highlights the absence of someone important. Take every opportunity to reminisce and talk about your loved one, even if it’s just saying: “Dad would love that.”
Smaller steps:
Tell a loved one that you feel depressed and don’t want to be alone. Invite her for a quiet evening.
Organize a movie night with your children. Choose light movies such as comedies, animations or old classics. Order pizza and put on pajamas.
Send a card or flowers to a friend or family member you know is also feeling down on Valentine’s Day. Perhaps they are mourning the same loss as you, or have experienced other difficulties. Let them know they are not alone.
THERE ARE ALSO STRANGERS
Love for strangers:
Bigger Steps:
Volunteering at a charitable organization is a great way to network and help others. Consider choosing a place that your loved one would support and act in their honor.
Join an interest group. Whether it’s a support group, photography club, choir or social gatherings, interacting with people with similar passions can be very beneficial.
Try to perform five acts of kindness in a day. Regardless of their scale, they will bring more love into the world and make you feel better.
Smaller steps:
Write a letter. To anyone. To an organization or person you admire. To someone who is going through a difficult time. To a child or teenager you want to support. Or perhaps to a deceased loved one.
Resolve to do one act of kindness a day.
Self-love: chicken the most important thing;
Recognize your limitations. Don’t force yourself into activities you don’t have the strength for.
Make it fun for yourself. On a budget, treat yourself to a day of relaxation – whatever that means to you. It could be a spa visit, shopping or a monster truck rally; if it relieves stress or makes you smile, anything is allowed.
Reserve time for an activity that will help you cope with your grief – exercise, yoga, journal writing, art, etc.
Allow yourself to truly relive the memories of your loved one and cry for as long as you need. Each of us has our own rituals and reminders that make us feel close to our deceased loved ones. Boldly engage in them.
Believe that next year will be a little easier.
Remember, talking about how to deal with difficult days is a frequent topic of mine. Let this day be an opportunity for you to show love – to yourself and others. Remember that you are not alone in your pain, and every gesture of kindness, both small , maybe invisible to someone – does the greatest work – for you !!!! and for the recipient .
With Metta❤️❤️
Anna